”“You beat her by a point!” Liz declared. “Something you couldn’t do with Jocelyn even after she had mono!”I chuckled, “Don’t remind me!”“How do they pick the valedictorian at Taft?” she asked.“A committee selects the valedictorian and salutatorian from anyone who graduates summa cum laude. Fortunately, a certain dean is no longer at the university. She was on that committee, so I’m sure you can imagine my chances if she were there.”The waitress came and filled our coffee cups and took our orders.“What happened?” Lara asked when the waitress left.“You missed the entire ‘Dean Parker Saga’,” I replied. “Basically a radical feminist dean who felt gender trumped grades. And anything else, for that matter. She was my absolute nemesis until she overstepped and had to resign.”“Why?”“It’s immaterial now. She’s gone. If you want the whole sordid story, Melody is your best bet, because she’s been involved in Student Government from her first day on campus.”“The future ACLU lawyer, right?” Liz. ."My god, she thought, I figured it wouldn't be this bad until age nine, at least. Unless ... He couldn't have!"Did Colin teach you that? When you went out for your 'boys' day' last week?" My baby boy!Billy was becoming terrified at his mother's emerging hysteria, and was on the verge of tears. "No, mom, it was in music class at school. Everyone was singing it."Uh huh. She didn't believe that for an instant. This was Colin's doing-- this was just like him. Him and his rap music and his Camaro and his Pam Anderson. Bastard! Well, she had him on speed dial..."Hello?" Colin?" Katie! Sweetheart, I'm so sorry about last--" Skip it, you jerk. Billy just told me about the little songs you've been teaching him. You disgusting pig! He's six years old!" Six and a half, mom!" Stay out of this, Billy!" Kate, what the fuck are you talking about!" That's exactly the sort of language I don't want you teaching Billy, you son of a ... you ... freak! Don't you ever, ever call me again!" She pushed.
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